“Just be grateful that you’ve been given that gift, because girls are amazing…I’m a girl dad.”

- Kobe Bryant

Like many, I was shocked to hear of the tragic deaths of Kobe Bryant, his lovely daughter, Gigi, and the other seven lives lost in the recent helicopter accident. The now viral moment when Sportscenter anchor Elle Duncan recalled talking to Kobe, as he gushed that he loved being a “girl dad,” resonated deeply with me. Kobe cherished being a dad to his four daughters and coaching Gigi as she grew in her love and talent for basketball. Though heart wrenching, I believe that one way we can honor Kobe, Gigi, and the lives lost that day is to consider what we can learn from their stories. As I listened to Elle’s anecdote and marveled at the photos of Kobe sharing the love of basketball with his daughter, it both warmed and broke my heart. Upon reflection I realized that I am also blessed to have a Girl Dad, and I cannot begin to measure the positive impact he has had on my life.

My dad was a multi-sport high school athlete, played freshman football at UGA, and went on to coach just about every sport that existed in Georgia in the 1970s. His first love has always been football, but he was also an intense softball, baseball, and basketball coach, and he even took the girls' softball team to compete in the region track meet.

Despite the doctor telling my parents, "you've got yourself a cheerleader" when I was born, I have played and watched team sports with my dad since I can remember. I loved playing "over the top" as a kid - pretending to be the UGA football star Herschel Walker, carrying a football and leaping over my dad crouched like a defender, while I landed on the sofa for a touchdown. We ran football drills in the backyard, as I alternated catching touchdown passes and making acrobatic interceptions. When I learned that I was not allowed to play in an organized football league because of my gender, I was devastated, so my dad coached me to become a star in the most popular sports available to girls at the time, softball and basketball. He spent hours teaching me to hit a softball to any part of the field, turn double plays, dribble a basketball between my legs, make no look passes, and drain three pointers. 

My dad is a fierce coach, and he poured his heart and soul into our softball practices and games after a long work day. He would pick me up in an Aerostar minivan, grab the softball equipment, and run arguably the most efficient practice a 10 year old girls' softball team has ever seen. My dad has always said that the measure of a coach (and a teacher) is how much their least talented players improve, not what the most talented do. 

I am deeply grateful for my girl dad, as I have never considered myself less valuable than anyone else for being a woman, despite the fear and self doubt that inevitably creep up. Playing sports with my dad instilled confidence in me, pushed me to excel beyond what I initially thought possible, taught me self discipline, and showed me how to pick myself up from defeat. When unfair systems and societal norms attempted to limit me because of my gender, I persevered because of those lessons that I learned on the field, from my girl dad. 

My girl dad knew that I was smart, athletic, and worthy to learn the same lessons he would teach boys. He knew how beneficial sports could be for me, just as they were for him and for my brother. Some of the happiest moments of my childhood were playing or watching sports with my dad. Pictures of Kobe and Gigi remind me of connecting with my dad over sports, and I bet Gigi was gaining internal strength through the time spent at the gym with Kobe. 

This year I became an aunt of a baby girl. Both my dad and my brother adore my niece and take care of her every need without hesitation. They feed her, change her diapers, comfort her when she cries, hold her when she sleeps, and let down their guard to act silly with her. Like me, my niece is blessed to have a phenomenal girl dad and girl grandad to show her the unconditional care that men can show their loved ones, honoring our worth every day. The world has lots of girl dads (and of course girl moms!), and we can never have too many. Thank you, Elle, for calling our attention to this precious relationship. Let’s continue to honor Kobe and Gigi’s legacy by celebrating the power of girl dads, increasing access to sports, and laying it all on the line on the court like Mamba and Gigi.